“My name is Sally Duddy. I am a survivor.”
Those are the powerful words used by a Co Donegal woman has bravely faced her abuser in court telling him she was taking back the control of the life he had stolen from her 47 years ago.
A hushed courtroom in Letterkenny heard the powerful words of Sally Duddy who was abused by John Doherty when she was just eight years old.
The St Johnston woman had waited patiently for many years to make a complaint against her tormenter until after her beloved mum had passed away out of respect to her.
Doherty, 65, was found guilty of indecently assaulting Ms Duddy following a trial at Letterkenny Circuit Court in June.
But even this week when he appeared in court the former soldier refused to admit his guilt and said he did not accept the decision of the court.
But Ms Duddy was given some form of justice when the court was told by Judge John Aylmer that it is “inevitable” that her abuser will go to prison.
Ms. Duddy, who has lived most of her life in Co Clare where she has married and has a family, delivered the ultimate snub to Doherty by even refusing to name him.
“I will not humanise you,” Ms Duddy said. “You will never understand the torment that you inflicted on me. I am taking my power back that was robbed from me over 47 years ago. It is partly my fault because I allowed you to control my life.
“But know this: I will come out stronger and more proud of myself after this because although it was a long road without a turn and your turn has arrived. I pursued this case because you needed to be held accountable for your actions.
“I have tortured myself for over 47 years while my abuser appears to have gotten on with his life without a second thought of the impact he had on my life,” she said in her victim impact statement.
Abuser – John Doherty.
Ms Duddy said she needed to take back control of her life and stop blaming herself for something that happened when she was a child.
“I know I have to stop blaming myself because this was not my fault. I was a child.
“I need to take back control of my life as so much of it was stolen from me. I don’t know why you targeted me or what gave you the right to ruin my childhood.”
The gruesome crimes against Ms Duddy by Doherty happened at Bonnemaine, Bridgend, where their families lived side-by-side.
The Duddy family initially moved to Bridgend from Ard Baithin, St Johnston in 1976 after their father, Billy, bought a farm.
Following Billy Duddy’s death in late 1978, they relocated to St Johnston again in 1979. The period spent in the border area in Bridgend may have been brief, but its impact on Ms Duddy has haunted Ms Duddy.
“I have some good memories from when I was a child in St. Johnston, but when I look back at Bridgend I just feel sad,” she said.
“I don’t have any nice memories, just remember the assaults. I feel my childhood and innocence was taken away from me.
“I never felt I was good enough for anything and didn’t deserve success in my life. I left school at 15 because I felt I wasn’t good enough to educate myself. I had no confidence to carry things through because I always felt I was a failure.
“I would never put myself forward to do anything, when I have tried to do so halfway through a project I would just quit rather than fail. I would sabotage myself and drop out of courses.”
The now 56-year-old moved to Lisdoonvarna in County Clare in 1985 to work in a hotel and married her husband, David Flanagan, in 1988. The support of her husband and her other family members has taken her through some dark and difficult days.
The couple have four children and Ms Duddy told how she feels as if she was “over protective” and was “always by their sides”.
“I told some of my family about my abuse, I felt like I was reliving the abuse over again,” she said. “I felt so dirty and blamed myself for causing the abuse.”
Having told her mother about the abuse in the late 1980s, Ms Duddy vowed not to make an official report while her mother was still alive.
She said: “Mammy’s generation were of a different mindset. Mammy didn’t want any shame or trouble coming to the door and didn’t want our family name being dragged through the mud.”
Following the death of her mother in January 2014, Ms Duddy made an official report to An Garda Siochana a few months later. In October 2014, Ms Duddy made a statement to officers at Burnfoot Garda Station.
Delays in bringing the matter before a Judge and jury caused Ms Duddy a mixture of frustration and anger.
“The amount of times I would get my hopes up that it would be going ahead only to be deflated when the case was adjourned time and time again,” she said. “I felt my life was always put on hold. I loved my work as a health care assistant but due to the stress, I found I couldn’t carry out my work duties to the best of my abilities.”
Ms Duddy told the court that she had a mental breakdown in 2022 and left her job as a healthcare assistant in a community hospital.
She recalled how she was unable to carry out simple tasks “and just cried”.
Supported by family members, who were present in the courtroom, Ms Duddy emotionally recalled how she had suicidal thoughts, feeling “physically and mentally exhausted” and how she drank a lot in an attempt to forget about the incidents.
Ms Duddy has been undergoing counselling and hailed the support of both her family and the investigating Gardai.
She said: “It can be exhausting trying to get through the day, but I am trying to look after myself and get my confidence back again. I know it is a slow process but I am taking it one day at a time.
“I was told this case is known as a historical case because it happened 37 years ago, this was over ten years ago, that is how long the case has taken to be heard making it 47 years now. To me this is not a historical case because l live with the memories of the abuse caused to me everyday: This was stress I could have done without.”
On one occasion, Ms Duddy was in a bedroom at the rear of the house when Doherty came in and asked if she would play a game, asking her to touch his penis.
Details of another incident, the subject of another charge, in the same bedroom were outlined.
The court was told about an incident at Doherty’s house, which occurred on an occasion when she went to collect something for one of her sisters from one of Doherty’s sisters.
Ms Duddy outlined how she went into a room and Doherty lifted her up, laid her down on the bed and penetrated her vagina. After this incident, Ms Duddy recalled picking up “the first thing that was red” and returning home.
After her family returned to live in St Johnston, Ms Duddy was shocked when Doherty appeared at the door. Then a soldier in the Defence Forces, Doherty was getting a lift to work with Ms Duddy’s brother, Frankie, who was also in the army.
“I remember feeling terrified and ashamed,” she said. “I felt my power and innocence were taken away again.
“Seeing him put me right back to my childhood and In my mind I was relieving the abuse again. He had told me when I was a child not to tell anyone about the things he did or he would kill me. That morning I felt pure nauseous and that my control was gone from me. I was angry at the same time because he had come to my home where I had felt safe and I certainly did not feel safe that morning.”
Ms Duddy, accompanied by one of her sisters, confronted Doherty at a school reunion in a Letterkenny hotel on November 5, 1999.
“I was shaking with fear and anxiety to see that face again,” she recalled. “I wanted to take my power back. I wanted him to know the pain he caused me. I approached him and asked if he remembered me, to which he denied straight to my face, but I told him ‘I’m Frankie Duddy’s sister’ and ‘I fucking remember you’.
“I was so annoyed that he didn’t seem to care about the suffering he caused me throughout my life. I walked away still shaking.”
Ms Duddy told of being angered when she learned that Doherty was working in a cafe in her home village of St Johnston in 2001 and how that news left her afraid of bumping into her attacker when she visited home.”
She told the court that she hopes her coming forward – which she said took a lot of courage in revealing private details of the incidents – will give other victims and survivors hope and courage to pursue justice “no matter how many years have passed”.
Ms Duddy told Doherty “You denied knowing me on the 5th of November 1999 and again you denied knowing me in the courtroom in June 2024. The only thing that I want to say to you is: Now, do you remember me?
“My name is Sally Duddy. I am a survivor.”