BABY STEPS WITH ÁINE: Hi Everyone, I hope you’re all well and ready for a fun-filled weekend.
This week I’ll be talking about the fourth trimester. This is a phrase used to describe those first three months with a new-born.
For Will and I, those months of parenthood were an absolute rollercoaster of emotions. This is something we weren’t entirely prepared for.
After 9 long months of pregnancy we were only focusing on the finish line. Meeting Ava for the very first time and embracing all the happiness that went with it.
Little did we know how many obstacles went alongside the joy and excitement of having a new-born.
Here’s my tips for you:
- DO THINGS YOUR WAY:
You’ll get loads of advice as a new parent. By all means take it. After all, this is all a very new experience and you’ll appreciate all the help you get. But remember, all babies are different and what works for other parents mightn’t work for you.
You’ll probably have some wishes in mind already. We were adamant we would never use a dummy. We weren’t going to fall into the trap of rocking Ava to sleep. And we definitely weren’t going to co-sleep. Turns out, we’ve done all three. You just need to do what suits you and your baby.
Surprisingly, there are people who will frown at your decisions. Don’t let that get to you. Does it matter if you breastfeed or formula-feed? Does it matter if you use Waterwipes or baby wipes from the pound shop? Does it matter if you use calpol or herbal remedies to relieve their pain?
Comments like ‘you’re making a rod for your own back’ or ‘He/she is spoilt’ may become familiar to you. Take them with a pinch of salt. If your new-born needs cuddled to sleep, do it. They are not spoilt, they are being loved.
Trust your instincts and the decisions you make. You know your baby better than anyone. Parent the way that works for your family, not for everyone else.
2. MAKE FRIENDS WITH OTHER PARENTS
This one can be tough, but it is extremely important.
Your friends will always be there and they will be more supportive than ever. However, if you are the first of your friends to have a baby, it is nice to have a network of people who are in the same boat.
Maternity leave is amazing but it can be lonely at times. Especially when your other half returns to work and if your families don’t live nearby.
Having mum friends allows you to get out and about, share tips and tricks or just get some adult conversation to keep you sane. Your little ones can bond too which is such a lovely thing.
I found local baby groups the easiest way to meet new mums. Often we’re all too shy to initiate meetups outside those classes. Just go for it. You’ll be so glad you did.
3. IT’S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP
Nobody is expecting you to be an expert from day one. You’re going to have good and bad parenting days.
Don’t be fooled by the perfect, happy parenting lives people portray on social media. We’re all guilty of it. Nobody wants to share photos of their narky, upset babies therefore you will rarely see this side of parenting online.
But believe me, you’ll have those days. And when they come along, it’s okay to ask for help. There were many times I cried down the phone to my mum looking for advice (mainly on how to get Ava to sleep!!)
Parenting can be stressful at times. There are many online forums that offer great help and guidance. Your midwife and health visitor are always there too.
You might just need an hour to yourself, to catch up on some sleep or enjoy some quality time with your partner. Your friends and family will love getting some new-born cuddles, so don’t be afraid to ask them to babysit.
Remember that the ‘fourth trimester’ will pass. It gets easier but, time goes too quick so embrace those moments while you have them.
You will make amazing parents!
Thanks for reading,
Áine x
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